They called her Baka Ish (Ish’s mother) as is the custom in our culture, where the first born automatically replaces the parents’ names. Perhaps to remind the society that they are no longer children but adults.
Some called her ‘MaKhumalo’, her second name carrying a symbolic cultural identity inherited from past generations.
Others called her mother, others called her grandmother, auntie or sister but many simple called her ‘Baka Ish”.
The truth is, she had more than one name, for she was more than the above names.
The government recognized her as Patience Nleya.
I don’t know how and when she joined our family (I wasn’t born yet) but I only know that one of my uncles ‘snatched’ her from ‘iZiqholo Zezwhane’, Tsholotsho and she became a rare diamond not only for the family but for the whole society of Dombodema.
With her beauty, she blended the family, with her heart she blessed us and with her smile she provided warmth.
She was supposed to be the first daughter in-law in the family but she failed. In fact, she became more than that.
Like the biblical story of Ruth, she refused to go back to her people when her husband, Antony died, opting to stick with the family. (My uncle died when she was very young and it was only logical for her to move on).
She had ceased to be a daughter in law but a daughter. She was simple ‘us’ and we were ‘her’.
She raised and nurtured her children to be champions.
When her chance of being a mother-in-law came, she refused to be one and became a mother to her daughters in law.
What a rare breed!!
When our parents retired from earth, she simply fitted in their shoes with so much ease.
On my last visit, to the village, she jokingly said to me ‘Ndakandafa De, ndakabudza banhu kuti Desmond ndiye unotshumayela pa lufu gwangu’ (I almost died and had told people that you will have to preach at my funeral’.
Like always she was wearing a smile and I couldn’t see that she was suffering inside. By the way her spiritual home was UCCSA formely known as London Missionary Society
At last death came and killed her but it failed to kill her trademark signature, the smile.
While they buried her, I missed an opportunity to see her not smiling, for indeed she is gone with a smile.
Written by Desmond
